Sunday, August 31, 2014

Public Drunkenness As Performance Art

We're not breaking the law, just taking a break from the law.
My students may look a bit like criminals, but they're actually just really friendly drunks. That is me hiding in the back. Right before this photo, I was asking two Mexican cops whether there was any problem with us getting shitfaced in a vacant lot next to the highway from the university. Noone was asking if it was legal. What the bloated self-important políticos decide for the rest of us in a galaxy far far away rarely comes up in Mexican conversation.

It aint just her handcuffs that fit tightly.
Likewise, only here would the cops say, "No problem, but keep the drunk ones off the road and keep the music down." (I think referring to gangsta reggaetón as music was quite generous of the officer, don't you?) There is one law the police here do enforce. You must patiently and submissively go along with whatever bureaucratic chain-of-command hoops they ask you to jump through. Otherwise, they will fuck you up! Gringos who insist that all of life must conform to their law-and-order expectations will not be given official permission to party like it's 1999 on the side of the highway.

This size is perfect for tourists and primary school lunches.  
Plus, only in Mexico do people of all social classes sprawl on the ground in a public place to hug, cry, joke and drink themselves blind. You can drive past a park here to see a lawyer, a prostitute and a thief napping on the lawn. (I'm visualizing three separate people, but that is so not necessary.) Those of you accustomed to the elegant Corona Extra bottles (extra means extra-high-priced for the tourist) may not recognize the fat brown bottles clutched in our fat brown hands. This is how real men and women drink Corona in Mexico.

Mexico is lacking in consumer technology? Sure!
Don't be concerned that there are only three women with nine men at our party. These are Mexican women. By the end of the fiesta, all of the hombres will no doubt be hyperventilating while the ladies exclaim, "Is that all you little boys can do?" (Noooo, I don't sleep with my students! Who can sleep lying next to a beautiful naked girl? Certainly not me!) I apologize for the inappropriate humor. I really wanted to go with some appropriate humor, but I don't find it funny. So, now we must say goodbye to a truly enjoyable Mexican party, but don't worry, because this is Mexico. There will surely be another one tomorrow.