Sunday, November 23, 2014

Publisher Scores Babe and Scorns Blog

Recently an intelligent, spiritual and smokin' hot girl offered me her heart and various other fascinating parts of her anatomy. Like Moses, I took off my shoes because I stood nearly trembling on holy ground. Unlike Moses, I removed other articles of clothing before smiting the "Red Sea" with my staff.

I saw. I conquered. I came. I have fallen down in crazy, stupid love and can't get up. I have promised to dedicate my next book to this angel, but can't remember my own name to put on the cover. Out of devotion to my global readers (all six of you), I have tried to picture a scenario where I have significant blocks of time I would prefer to spend blogging on this site than shagging on this babe. I'm just not getting a visual, people.

In the future, my posts will be few and far between, while the moans of this adorable Latina will be otherwise. Instead of merely wasting my days as a university professor, I intend to spend my nights truly contributing to the well being of young people. Okay, one young person with a body like a brick house. Must I be so specific? Many other charities are somewhat nebulous about their compassionate deeds, aren't they?

She and I will likely head out for Patagonia by motorcycle. Why so? Because I'm hoping a hot vibrating machine between the legs will distract my sweet nympho from messing around with my steering, and continuing on beyond Patagonia means plunging into the wet and salty sea, which I plan to do in much warmer spots. I think you know what I'm saying here.

Readers who have not yet finished my books should not be concerned about the dirth of new blog material. I have always felt a moral obligation to save my best material for the paying customers. So, you should pick up a copy of Sacred Ground & Holy Water or Fresh Wind & Strange Fire to allow my nonstop fertility fest across the Americas to bless your life as well. Namaste!

Would I really trade all my wonderful readers and the cutting-edge technology of the internet for the old school analog technology of a real live girl? Damn straight. Frankly, I already have. I'm only typing this farewell note so the poor exhausted hottie can catch a nap. I hope this site has done some good things. Now, my new love and I are gonna do some very, very bad things. Oh yeah!

While I'll no longer focus on doing the Lord's work here, I pray God will give me the strength to sow the good seed for many years in missionary fashion and/or doggy style. I must whole-heartedly thank my Creator for allowing an unspiritual dysfunctional guy like me to discover how to live life with a gusto most geeks will never know. Travel is better than chocolate. I close with a phrase often used by desperate men jumping off bridges but equally appropriate to those jumping on goddesses. Goodbye cruel world! - hello mamacita!

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Pedophilia, Public Education, and Other Crimes

While Saint Louis police, Ferguson residents, and media hacks were more interested in promoting their agendas than getting at the truth, author Rick Skwiot was polishing a crime novel that accurately portrays the harsh realities of governmental and educational corruption in Saint Louis slums. I just finished my review copy of Fail. This is the thinking man's Grisham, which is to say: it's the book John Grisham would write if he were more interested in fine literature than raking in money and empathizing with pedophiles.

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Muslim Gone Bad Attacks Canada's Capital

Since representatives of the bad apple wing of Islamic faith (those who think others shouldn't be allowed to choose their own spirituality or speak their own convictions without threat of death) have attacked Canada's capital today, I am here reposting one of our most popular and profound articles. Just as the world had to deal with Hitler's diabolical twist on Christianity, Islam has a cancerous growth within it that cannot be ignored. The best response would be for global Muslims to repudiate and annihilate these deadly spreading diseased cells. If they can't or won't, others will have to step up. I encourage my Muslim friends to be the most devout about ridding the world of demented versions of Islam. It's better when you do as much as possible to clean up your own house. However, one way or another, these losers who refuse to respect the rights of others are gonna have to be taken out. Here's a repost of "Lyn Fuchs Named Terrorist Suspect."

Saturday, October 11, 2014

Smooth Getaway Postcard From Shenandoah Valley

Virginia’s Shenandoah Valley is not merely noted for lovely scenery, though its position between the Blue Ridge and the Allegheny Mountains certainly provides beautiful landscapes. The area also played an important role in the history of the United States, from its time as a British colony through its tragic Civil War and beyond.

Sunday, September 28, 2014

Why I Have Rights Most People Don't

Just received my new U.S. passport. This document allows me to travel faster, cheaper, more easily and to more destinations than most people can. An ugly truth but still the truth. Why am I more entitled to access the world than billions of other folks. I will now explain exactly why.

The founders of my country were not mega religious. Yet, they acknowledged the existence of heavenly management and the existence of divinely given rights that governments cannot take away without showing contempt for both the masses and the Creator.

Sunday, September 21, 2014

Cantinflas Can't Even Entertain Us

Cantinflas is one of those English and Spanish films that Latinos in The United States are supposed to make their kids watch so they can appreciate their cultural roots. Yet, culture worth celebrating and preserving doesn't have to be forcefed. This movie is as barely Latino as it is proudly Latino - like Eva Longoria. The director apparently wanted to use every possible device to imply that Mexican comedian Cantinflas was the funniest guy ever, except one: showing Cantinflas actually being funny.

Monday, September 15, 2014

Primal Wilderness Rambling From The Adirondacks

When you say “New York,” people generally think of the Statue of Liberty, Manhattan skyscrapers or endless entertainment in “the city that never sleeps.” Yet, there’s more to New York than the “Big Apple.” A different type of adventure awaits in the Adirondack Mountains of the Empire State.

Saturday, September 6, 2014

Music is the Universal Language

In my experience, music is the universal language, because it communicates passionate sentiment directly to the heart with or without comprehension of the lyrics. Plato wrote that music is a powerful irrational force capable of almost anything, because it commands the listener to dance with or without a reason to do so. Perhaps the most powerful music is that which reflects love and loss, which are perhaps the most beautiful and painful of all experiences.