Horny Harvey and Steamy Beastiality

My first taste of steamy hot beastiality took place at the home of archaeologist Ann Cyphers on the very site where humans first tasted steamy hot chocolate. I probably need to explain that statement. Near Texistepec, Veracruz, Mexico lie the ruins of the first city in the Americas, where Olmec shamanic leaders drank cocoa then smashed their cups to dedicate the settlement. That party made history.

The domestication of wild grass into corn allowed humans to live in big farming clusters rather than small hunting bands, so they could have spousal options other than their cousins and devote themselves to art, literature, or philosophy, plus calling the hunters hicks, primitives, or deplorables. All the cool people ate corn. Thus, these trendy cosmopolitans gathered together for sacrificing infants and imbibing stimulants, much like a John Podesta and Marina Abramovic party.

Of course, I'd told my hot brown sugar before this excursion that we'd visit the sacred birthplace of chocolate, not an old archaeological zone (boring!) or beastiality zone (disgusting!). Still, she was totally into the wild animal perversion. Despite the dry stillness of the stone Olmec sculpture of a jaguar having sex with a corn goddess, we gasped in awe at the locomotive thrusting of the male haunches and the moist fertility of the female soil receiving the seed. This wasn't New York. Despite their technological advancements (inventing the aqueduct and possibly the compass), the Olmecs remained sufficiently in contact with nature to remember the difference between genders and even value the best orgasms over the latest iphones.

Consider some harsh reality. Americans are learning that unmasculine men like Roman Polanski, Woody Allen, Ben Affleck, Casey Affleck, Harvey Weinstein, and Kevin Spacey can be just as threatening to young and innocent and vulnerable people as normal men are to old, bitter, traumatized feminists. Let that sink in. Do we prefer to guard the safety of the pure or the feelings of the warped? Fully developed men only desire sex with fully developed women who desire them. Since Hollywood relishes perversion, why not dabble in a bit of Olmec beastiality to discover that gender equality doesn't mean gender uniformity and that nature offers us a divine primal blueprint for living with ethics and gusto.

The secret of life is available to those who seek it. If a pilgrimage to the Olmec and Mayan homeland doesn't fit your agenda this year, but you'd like to escape the media insanity for the wisdom of the cosmos, put my forthcoming work Primeval Woods & Primordial Stones on your reading list. You can learn more about it soon. Then next time some actor or politician claims to have a better plan for the future than the one laid into the foundation of the world at the dawn of creation, invite them to explore the ultimate sexual perversion / contortion by fucking themselves. Oh yeah, Hollywood and Washington D.C. screwing themselves for a change - the image is getting me so hot. Gotta go!