Wednesday, April 15, 2015
Primate Professor Returns to the Jungle
Instead of bemoaning the uncivilized nature of my scribblings, as sensitivity police do, an enlightened university understands that anytime a savage beast stops scratching himself long enough to attempt written communication is a moment for academic celebration. People who don't buy my books are really animal haters. Women who find my rudementary gestures and crude mating overtures to be cute rather than disgusting are true animal lovers.
Female readers visiting Mexico are urged to book a night at my seaside B & B (bed and breastfest). Our generous package includes a massage, a bottle of cheap wine, a bouquet of flowery conversation, an ancient fertility ritual, and a shamanistic/ showeristic cleansing. (Ritual and cleansing can be repeated hourly in Kama Sutra variations for the truly spiritual. Guests who tell friends just how generous our package is receive all hospitality services free of charge.