To plan my next book, I am dropping off the grid and onto this rustic Mexico ranch. There is no phone or electricity. Yet, all female visitors will be provided with conversation and warmth at no extra cost.
The ranch does have a lake, a veggie garden, some peyote, and a burro called Mary Juana. She requires no gasoline, but looks much less effeminate than those electric cars while still attaining almost the same speed.
Here I am making some fresh salsa with veggies grown on the ranch. These veggies are not certified organic. They are so far away from pesticides that there is noone around to certify 'em.
Naturally, I intend to bloom where I am planted, so expect my next book to be killer. The exact location of my ranch hideaway will only be given out to women who send me naked photos.
If you are a woman who is trapped inside a man's body, please do not send naked photos, as these tend to traumatize me. If you are a man who is trapped inside a woman's body, please join me at the ranch, as you are the ultimate fishing buddy. Of course, I will mosey into town on a regular basis to get liquored up and respond to emails that are sent to lynfuchs@gmail.com. I'm not antisocial. I'm just pro fresh air, quiet sunsets, and starry skies. Nevertheless, if Megan Fox wants to interrupt my artistic contemplation, I remain immensely flexible.
The ranch does have a lake, a veggie garden, some peyote, and a burro called Mary Juana. She requires no gasoline, but looks much less effeminate than those electric cars while still attaining almost the same speed.
We shall dispatch Megan Fox posthaste.
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