Friday, March 30, 2012

Basic Elements Of The Upcoming Election

The Elements Movie Trilogy, directed by Deepa Mehta, is a powerful meditation on the oppression of women in India. Fire, Earth and Water are the titles of the three films. Though long recognized for their artistic value, these works now deserve a fresh look for their relevance to the upcoming election.

Fire is sparked by rubbing two people together - literally. A Hindu man who can't conceive children decides he shouldn't make love to his wife, because this would just be for desire and that's not spiritual. He also insists that his frustrated wife help him "test" his immunity to desire. The desperate housewife notices that everyone else is busy fulfilling their longings (however inappropriate), so why should she deprive herself of an opportunity to have hot sex with her daughter-in-law. Two wrongs don't make a right, but apparently five do - not the best moral argument ever made.

Interestingly, the no-fun-allowed position taken by the oppressive husband is also that held by the Vatican and candidate Rick Santorum. The notion that nonprocreational sex is inherently selfish is dead wrong. Those capable of love and not inhibited by Augustinian nonsense often discover that "it's more blessed to give than receive." However, the Vatican has so stubbornly stuck to their lame story that they once claimed the erotic biblical poem Song of Songs was a kinky conversation between Jesus and the Church. Eeeew gross! For more info on the origins and fallacy of the Vatican's position, see the Politicos, Priests and Pedophiles chapter of my book.

The movie Earth is about the trampling of women and religious minorities in the 1947 societal breakup that separated India from Pakistan. This was like the red and blue states reconfiguring to opposite ends of the US, with anyone migrating thru the wrong color state in the process being fair game. It's easy to see the intolerance in other societies, so this movie is horrifying. Still, humanists who have been begging for tolerance ever since the Vatican oppressed Copernicus are now accepting President Obama's order that the Catholic Church pay for birth control methods they morally oppose.

"Uh ... Lyn ... didn't you just say the Vatican's sex ideas were goofy?" Yes, I did. I also don't think it would've killed Christians in the Roman Empire to offer some pagan meat to the sun to pacify neighbors who were terrified of barbarian invasions, or Jews in pre-Nazi Germany to down a little pork sausage at Octoberfest to show solidarity with their economically-depressed countrymen, but that's not the point. Rights are not cool goodies that governments give people when it's convenient. Rights are sacred gifts from above that governments cannot deny without justifying being removed from power by force. So, whether you have one humanist Copernicus surrounded by an ocean of Catholics or one Catholic Pope surrounded by an ocean of humanists, all people have rights.

The final film Water is about the discarding of "useless" women and the elderly by shuffling them and their ideas into a monastic cloister. Old folks sometimes have trouble dancing to the tune of the times, because in their heads exist rhythms of the past that distract from the latest fad. Modern society needs wisdom badly, but usually lacks the patience for slow dancing with the elderly to benefit from their longer view.

Santorum's medieval sex musings and Obama's totalitarian baby steps are no big deal unless you grasp history. To those who see the millions of kids who have grown up in poverty because of parents showing more deference to what comes out of Augustine's mouth than what needs to go into their children's, and to those who see the millions of adults who have lived and died in slavery because of politicos who only respect rights when it suits their agenda, these are deadly sins.

Indeed, Obama just assured Russia's iron-fisted leaders that America's promise of protection for Poles, Slavs and Georgians, who recently chewed their way out of chains forged by socialist dictators Stalin and Hitler, can be broken once he doesn't have to face democratic voters again. I'm not saying that America has the money or technology to defend these countries, but there's a huge difference between informing friends that America wrote a check they can't cash, so they can prepare to defend themselves or die with honor and sweetly whispering to Goliath "I can put a hold on that high-tech slingshot promised to David once I'm no longer accountable."

My heartfelt support goes out to eastern European peoples, once betrayed by Neville Chamberlain and soon to be refucked by Obama. Yet don't worry, he's a gentle metrosexual man and any pain or death you may experience will be worth it to give Americans "free" condoms. We appreciate your sacrifice. Plus, think of the potency Americans will feel wearing their government-issue condoms and knowing they aren't just screwing one person but millions.

So, does Sacred Ground Magazine endorse Head of the Inquisition Rick or Caesar Augustus Obama? If America comes up with no better, I recommend you vote for whichever one you think will be easier to hide from or overthrow. Still, there's another choice.

I realize that Mitt Romney is a dull prissy geek and the thought of him someday dancing on YouTube keeps many of us awake at night. Also, he adheres to a religious group that used to be as racist as Barack Obama's chosen church is today. Yet, there's no evidence he embraces such ideas much less yearns to bind such ideas on those who don't share them, like these other clowns. Additionally, he has executive experience in business and government, which the other two do not. That means he may care as little about saving America from bankruptcy as they apparently do, but should he someday decide to care, he would know the difference between his butt and a dark hole in the economy.

In Hemingway's The Sun Also Rises, Mike Campbell is asked, "How did you go bankrupt?" He replies, "Two ways. Gradually, then suddenly." America likewise went bankrupt two ways: Bush's "security" spending and Obama's "stimulus" spending. You may support one or the other spending choice, but the result of both is that America is exiting the gradual bancruptcy phase and rapidly entering the sudden bancruptcy phase. For more on the ideological follies of Bush and Obama, see the Pirates/Terrorists of the Caribbean and Liberty, Equality & Fries With Gravy chapters of my book.

Should any of the three narcissists currently running actually want to rescue America and her allies from becoming indentured servants to their debts, Mitt is the only one who stands an ice-cube's chance in hell of knowing how to ruthlessly downsize the government corporation, since he spent years ruthlessly downsizing other corporations. Then, we might have the luxury of a future president giving "uplifting" sermons or "free" condoms.

Of course, those who prefer to dream sweet dreams than face harsh realities have every right to use their liberty to vote for potential slavery. Just keep in mind that one may not get a vote on taking one's freedom back. I always guard my liberty, because I can usually get sermons or condoms when I want them, but neither is of much value without the freedom to choose what I do with them. Thus, my editorial is proud to offer this endorsement: between Moe, Larry and Romney, Mitt sucks less!


  1. I'd just vote for Fluffy, Destroyer of Worlds, myself...

    Of that trilogy, I have seen Fire. Never did see Earth or Water.

  2. William,

    I admit Fluffy might make a better president than the current litter. However, that's not really the point in a modern democracy. He must have an extensive fund-raising machine and an expansive political network - something very few dogs have. As Orwell noted: when pigs run the farm, some animals are more equal than others.