Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Road Babe Dispatch From Montana

Our initial plan to camp between Grand Tetons and Yellowstone was thwarted by a nasty snow storm rolling in. It was almost June, so that was to be expected, of course. Eddie and I decided to head North to Bozeman and catch up with some old friends on our way to Glacier National Park at the Canadian border. Even my dog, Shakespeare, was excited to relax for a couple days.

Upon arrival in Boze-Angeles, we headed out to Water of the Gods hot springs to relax and chat over a few Moose Drool drafts. A plexi-glass bubble protected the bluegrass band playing music for the drunken slew relaxing in the naturally-heated pools. Then, it became clear that what was needed was more beer. 

So, we hit up a local pub and tacked on a few tequila shots. (I'm a tequila enthusiast, you know.) About this time, the bartender told my friend Katie she looked just like her grandfather who used to be a barfly there. “Thanks …I guess.” Next thing we knew, the barkeep was spatting stories about painting the legendary Further Bus with Neal Cassidy.

The following morning, we hit the Madison River. A clear blue sky and an abundance of Pabst Blue Ribbon inspired me to dare Eddie to do something stupid. The challenge was to be the first to walk out in a freezing cold river and sit down in an inner tube, immersing one's poor unsuspecting ass in what should have been frozen solid. Well, off we went. I took a quick tumble into the icy water then came out bruised but unfazed. I'd won. The pain was dulled by the cold water (and copious amounts of beer).

We fell asleep to rain but woke from our siestas to snow. Time to get moving. We went supply shopping and began organizing our stuff. Just as we were saying our goodnights, I turned to Eddie sheepishly and said, “Where's my sleeping bag?”

“You're kidding, right? Oh sweet Jesus, tell me you're kidding.”

“Umm …” At that moment, I was imagining my sleeping bag sitting on the dining room table at home.

“This is what I get for traveling with a poet!”

“I remembered the camping box …” It was true. I had the tent, tri-pod stove with interlocking pots, headlamps, even the lightning bugs. Yet, in the snow without a bag, I was screwed. So, unexpected expenditure notwithstanding, I bought a cheap one to make it through. This was an indefinite road trip. I had to be prepared for whatever was to come.

Mittie Babette Roger is from Louisiana but lives in San Miguel de Allende, Mexico. She received an M.F.A. in Creative Writing from Naropa University and authored the book It's Better to Visit the Shaman Without Questions to Ask. She travels the world volunteering to help disadvantaged children and promoting Blue Iguana Tequila to empower serious drinkers.


  1. Okay Mittie,

    We're just gonna have to stage an intervention right here in the midst of your latest column. I've got all your friends (both of 'em) and your family (those not incarcerated) gathered around their computers. Either stop drinkin' now or invite us to join ya. We won't take no for an answer!

  2. Bahahaha! Next roadtrip you are on the top of my invite list, Lyn!

  3. Oh, the river's just a little cold, that's all... the nice thing about cold like that is it makes you feel alive.

    Yes, I know that'w weird.

    Shakespeare looks like a grand fella.

  4. Or it wakes you up when you've had too much to drink and are doing something stupid, William! I had bruises to prove the last part. Well worth it though!

  5. this photo gives an apearance ofthe river this beautifully

  6. the dog is very funny....
    the bar of the photo I like...
    I want to be in that river

  7. the first picture is vary funny. I like the adventures in the rivers

  8. My name is Zuleima Villa my comentary is:
    This dog is very fun.Is black with white and use a glasses black.Also is small.

  9. the girl in the bar is very interesting and very pretty.

  10. My name is Dhalber
    I liked the photo of the dog with glasses.

  11. Alejandro Martínez GarcíaOctober 4, 2011 at 8:18 PM

    The dog in the first picture is so nice, and the river is beautiful

  12. My name is Jose luis Sanchez del Valle
    The river is very nice and the dog is very fun

  13. My name is Maria Bautista pleased me the photo where is the dog is very sympathetic with those red glasses as very coquettish looks very funny

  14. dog photo´s funny i thought it was great