Sunday, September 25, 2011

I Oppose Obama For Racist Reasons

After watching the mindless and nearly flawless runaway train travel film Unstoppable, I've decided to oppose Barack Obama for purely racist reasons.

He's just not black enough for my personal prejudices. I generally prefer my leaders (and my women) like my coffee: strong and dark. As a university professor, I get plenty of fine Anglo-saxon analysis and talk, talk, talk. I was happy to see a half black / half white president, hoping he might be a cool guy of few words and much action capable of jumping in front of an impending economic-train-wreck like Denzel Washington in Unstoppable. Yet, in speech after dull speech, his far-too-white ass has droned on and on unstoppably. (As far as I know, Barack is a devoted husband and father, which makes him a real action hero, whatever his shortcomings.)

So, I'm officially announcing my support for Denzel Washington as next U.S. President. Don't try to dissuade me. My racist mind is made up. Yell! Yell! for Denzel! Vote Denzel or go to...

If Mr. Washington declines to go to Washington, I'll support his Unstoppable supporting actress: Meagan Tandy. She isn't a strong man of action, but if she should drone on and on in speech after speech, it'd be the privilege of every red-blooded American to watch those speeches (whether with the TV volume on or off). Tandy! Tandy! What a dandy! Real solutions plus eye candy!


  1. Well, that's a pair of choices!

    Here I was going to suggest Johnny Depp run for the job. On the proviso that he be in character as Captain Jack in the Oval Office.

  2. William,

    I don't wanna squash your dream, but person-of-color doesn't include mascara. (Whether George Hamilton might qualify is yet to be decided.) I'll be happy to give up my racism and forget about color, if America can just find some leaders who are both moral and reasonably competant. Let's focus on what's important, before it's too late.

  3. Knew this was a made-ya-look post, so I will say this: What exactly have you done to support the President? Did you call your Congress supporting the American Jobs Act? Or are you just another person using the President to hawk your book, much like West and Smiley?

  4. Haven't we already had one too many actors in the Oval Office?

  5. Joyce,

    Thanks for having the courage to disagree. One thing I've done to support this president is wait longer to editorialize his failings than I did with George Bush (whose blunders are criticized in my book). I waited because (from a superficial perspective) Obama is an icon for black folks. However, he probably shouldn't be.

    He was willing to take his kids to the church of a racist minister to network with voters. Some will say "That's just what spineless politicians do: go where the votes are." Yes, that's true, so I don't get too excited about candidate Moe, Larry, or the occasional independent Curly, but I do care deeply about leaders standing for equality.

    When I was an eighteen-year-old college student in a segregated community, I became one of two white members in a "black church" because I felt the group believed in equality more than the "white church" across the railroad tracks. (If Reverend Richard King should happen to read this, may your years be filled with the knowledge that you changed my life and are forever in my heart.)

    I pay scant attention to political correctness in my writing, but I do focus a lot on encouraging people to do the right thing. If powerless Rosa Parks can do it, so can the rest of us, and so could've Obama. No excuses.

    I live in a mosquito-infested jungle equipping God's hungry brown kids to steal as many jobs as possible from God's discontented white kids. With his salary, airplane, mansions, and hordes of staffers, Obama doesn't need my help to do the right thing or his job. This handsome talker has had lots of time and resources to fulfill his grandiose promises to stimulate my package.

    If my posts sell copies of my book, that's great, because readers know my book speaks passionately for justice and equality, while Obama speaks long-windedly for political gain. I wish the best to George Bush and Barack Obama, but I hope America will find better in the future.

  6. Lyn,

    I strongly believe and agree with the fact that Denzel is - President material and worthy enough to become one. Although, he might not be the best in holding a rewarding academic record, but still managed to deliver the commencement address at the University of Pennsylvania.....America needs a HARD NUT to manage the devastating debacle of its economy.