Why? Because I'm feeling wild and free, having just enhanced my frighteningly-masculine self with the ultimate man accessory. The dawg got a dog. I'm talking about a black Labrador puppy named Jack. When I'm writing, he's Jack London; when I'm traveling, he's Jack Sparrow; when I'm drinking, he's Jack Daniels; and when I'm trying to get lucky, he's Blackjack. Of course, when he's rolling in a suspicious puddle for his eau de toilette, he's Jackass. This pup is so much cuter than Penelope Cruz that I'm totally over her.