Mount Everest Just Isn't Worth It

Reading Jon Krakauer's book Into Thin Air and seeing the new movie Everest about the same fatal climbing expedition led me to the same cold analytical conclusion. Everest is a lousy travel destination. Are there other mountains that offer a breathtaking view uncluttered by trash, decomposing human popsicles, and those sacred Tibetan prayer flags easily confused with Mexican barrio party flags? Check. Do other mountains provide that breathtaking view without taking so much breath that your head aches, your inability to make simple decisions threatens your life, and your health is permanently compromised? Check. Can other mountains be climbed without spending enough money to circle the globe twice with someone you love? Check. Since mountaineers are experts at facing cold hard grim realities, try this one out: Everest sucks!

This Dawg Loves Winter's Bone

Hillbilly is a word with many connotations. For Americans, it conjures up visions of self-reliant folks living in the Ozark or Appalachian mountains. Sometimes, marrying adolescent cousins. Often, distilling illegal booze and settling disputes between Celtic-style clans with maximum violence and minimum outside interference.