Monday, August 5, 2013

Wandering Mystic Meditation From Goa India

On my “bucket list” of things I want to do before I die, sky–diving is at the top, right next to speaking at a TED conference. When I ponder why I want to jump off a plane deliberately, what comes to mind is the desire to experience a cocktail of feelings mingling fear with faith and excitement.

Today, as I began to meditate, my thoughts were rampant about work, challenges, opportunities and all that. Yet, in the whirlwind, I caught a feeling of surrender. I realised that I no longer pray for specific outcomes. I noticed that I was actually OK with anything. Has my faith grown or has there finally been enough validation that things are starting to go my way? Classic chicken and egg scenario, but I’m pretty sure it was the faith that came before the results. This filled my heart with a sense of wholesomeness.

I had an assignment in Goa, India based on an oral agreement of trust and partnership. Yet, the company was taking their time to confirm it with me. Typically, they bargained me down in price, then said they would let me know, then said they’d call me, then said I had to meet with them pronto, then said their boss’s boss needed to speak to me, and then I surrendered. In the past, I’d have been complaining, chasing them, showing them annoyance, or at least begged God with tightly clenched hands to please please please make it go my way, but now I just surrendered. I have this sense of free-falling, a knowing that I am cradled by something and have nothing at all to be afraid of. In fact, now that I have “jumped-off the plane,” I can do nothing but enjoy the glide and should do so.

I perceive that my own book, Don’t Think of a Blue Ball, is teaching me. Some truly enlightened stuff that I once wrote about is coming back to me in real-life situations, not just in words or visuals but with intense feelings and experiences.

I was invited to conduct a 4 hour workshop on partnership and winning together in an exotic location. I went despite misgivings. Unfortunately, things didn’t go as I had hoped. There was bad planning on the travel, terrible planning on the workshop time-slot, unethical behaviour from one agent about my fee, inappropriate behaviour from another agent and an exhausting flight back. I returned home in tears, from the disappointment and the disillusionment, then I saw a silver lining and realised again how blessed and cradled I always am, even when it is hard to believe.

I had saved myself from a much bigger contract with these agents and enhanced my own sense of worth. Luckily, I hadn't signed anything with them up to this point. I had trusted implicitly and surrendered then came out on top despite ill treatment.

Life lessons are being embedded into me. More and more, I understand that whatever happens can work for the best, if I approach it in the right way. It almost feels like my Universe exists for my good, that disappointments can allow for something better to come my way, or save me from some larger pain that was coming my way. It feels like a win-win partnership between me and the companies I work with, and the companies they work with, and the cosmos.

What I walked away with was the understanding that partnerships benefit those individuals who are wholesome in themselves and take on responsibility for the joint intention. Recently, I was in Sydney launching my book for the Australian market, when an old friend came to see me. While we chatted and I went on about how hard authorship is for such measured results, he looked me in the eye, shoved my own book back into my hand, and told me to read it again.

He reminded me that I just needed to believe and practice what I "knew". Ironically, this is what I preach in my workshops and writings. Do it more than talk about it. All my marketing spiels ranted about how you can read a thousand page manual on riding a bicycle or flying a plane, but haven't learned much until your bum is in the seat. I'm now learning to live life as a roller coaster that I deliberately went to the park to ride, waited in line to board, and utilized the standard safety bars to responsibly enjoy. Now, I must relish all the twists and turns with glee  a tinge of fear mingled with excitement and faith that all will be as it was intended to be. Wanna ride with me?

Malti Bhojwani is an author, speaker and workshop facilitator. She brings many years of coaching experience to scores of individuals and corporate teams in companies and educational institutes around the world. She is a Singaporean who has lived in Madrid and Jakarta but spent most of her adult life in Sydney. She has overcome personal challenges with obesity, divorce, and setting up a business from scratch. Thus, helping others change their lives by changing the lens through which they view life is a natural fullfillment.

1 comment:

  1. It's easier to learn early on what someone's like than to have invested too much time in them and find out later.

    Good post, Malti!