Sacred Ground Travel Magazine: Colin Farrell Snags/Shags Ondine

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Colin Farrell Snags/Shags Ondine

Any movie lovers out there ready for something completely different? Join Colin Farrell on the emerald isle for an Irish-arts-funded film called Ondine. How's this for a story you haven't heard before?

A fisherman with a stinky life snags a supermodel (Alicja Bachleda) in his net. His wheelchair-bound daughter believes this fresh catch-of-the-day is a magical mythological creature from Scotland (out of whence also came her creepy stepfather).

Turns out there's a wee bit of confusion over who is the sick girl's father, who is the supermodel's husband, and how can we work some Romanian drug smugglers into this plot. Yet, in the end, love defines real family.

To best enjoy Ondine, one should suspend all non-Irish belief, adopting the local creed or Trinity of Truth:

1) The world is composed of four basic elements - drunks, greenery, catholicism, and folk superstitions.

2) Life can be sobering (and few Irishmen want that), so a spoonful of childlike fantasy helps the existential medicine go down.

3) Most men (and all fishermen) lead lives of quiet desperation, but when a beautiful woman comes into your life (and actually likes you), it's the greatest miracle heaven can send.

Readers wishing to know my secret supermodel-fishing spot should send proof of purchase of Sacred Ground & Holy Water: One Man's Adventures In The Wild. Irish need not apply. No offense, but what would an Irishman do with a book anyway?

Wait! My publisher just reminded me that the hardcover and paperback versions make nifty adult-beverage coasters, plus owning such a literary work will no doubt impress any supermodels you happen to reel in.

Legal disclaimer: Irish lads should never attempt to rest a pint on the digital version. While binary flashes can perform wonders fit for Saint Patrick, they cannot even support a shot glass, no matter what the little green man on the next barstool tells you.

12 comments:

William KendallOctober 12, 2011 at 11:04 AM
I rather like that local creed!

I may have to send the Irish after you for that crack about the bookreading though...
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LynOctober 13, 2011 at 10:17 AM
Actually, William, my Irish brothers are not the only concern. The site is now being flooded with traffic from Poland. Apparently, my implication that anyone's debauchery rivals that of the Poles is a serious attack on national pride. My sincere apologies to the Poles, who clearly deserve the title of world-class drunks as much as anybody ever has. Keep up the good work gentlemen. May the sauce be with you.

Ohhh, now I get it! Just figured out the reason for the heavy Polish readership today. Alicja Bachleda, who plays Ondine, is Polish though Mexican born. A Mexican-born Polish actress in an Irish movie - talk about predisposed to drink! Anyway, that's why my Polish friends are here: not for the booze but the babe. So, many Polish cucumbers out there are not pickled but quite firm. Makes sense. Alicja looks like a woman who could "bring out the Pole" in any man.
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Oscar Garcia GOctober 13, 2011 at 5:49 PM
the girl in the photograph is a very beautiful doll.
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ROSAOctober 13, 2011 at 7:26 PM
it`s boy is handsome and the girl is beautiful, i like look it`s movie.
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Eze.aguilaOctober 13, 2011 at 10:45 PM
very beautiful. The woman in the photo looks very nice
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Zule!*October 13, 2011 at 11:24 PM
Is a romantic movie. The starring is handsome and she is very beautiful.
Both do a good job!.
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LuisOctober 14, 2011 at 12:58 AM
: Luis Nieto

The man is handsome
the woman is beautiful
the picture is very beautiful
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DhalOctober 14, 2011 at 10:58 AM
The photograph is a good woman is beautiful
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Alejandro Martinez G.October 14, 2011 at 1:56 PM
when i had seen the picture i said oh my god! she´s beautiful, and the background it´s nice.
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Quique RamirezOctober 14, 2011 at 3:18 PM
the image is very beautiful, have essence
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AnonymousOctober 16, 2011 at 4:35 PM
Gabriela Sanchez Gomez

The protagonists of that image will be seen very handsome and cute
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l3nny-corzOctober 16, 2011 at 9:59 PM
the men is handsome,
I like his hair.

marleny juarez cayetano
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Replies

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"Five Stars! Sacred Ground & Holy Water shouldn't be missed." James Cox, Midwest Book Review

"Gonzo razzle-dazzle verbal fireworks!" Robert Martin, Editor of The Dalhousie Review

"Pacey, witty insightful stuff. Travel writing as it should be!" Jack Barker, Editor of Travelmag

"Grips you, holds you, and leaves you with something profound!" Chris Ord, Editor of Travel Rag

"If you should read just one book of travel essays in your life, this is the one." Barbara Conelli, Author of Chique Secrets of Dolce Vita and Chique Secrets of Dolce Amore

"An ideal traveling companion who brings lingual acuity, historical perspective, and razor-sharp irony along for the ride." Tom Dooley, Editor of Eclectica Literary Journal

"Fresh Wind & Strange Fire is smart, divertido, and so cleansing that I think I can defer a trip to Catemaco for a limpieza!" Tony Cohan, Author of On Mexican Time and Mexican Days

"Funny, literary, and hard-hitting. Professor Fuchs combines the humor of Twain, the alpha adventure of Hemingway, and the romantic sensitivity of Steinbeck. Just wish I was the one publishing it." John Kemmerly, Editor of Bluefoot Publishing

"I'm about half way through Fresh Wind & Strange Fire. A great read so far! Especially like the witty play on words. Good stuff!" Roz Savage, National Geographic Adventurer of the Year and first woman to solo row the Atlantic, Pacific and Indian Oceans.

"No one since Hunter S. Thompson has loved the wild and woolly world with as much intensity, insight, passion and gusto as Lyn Fuchs in his new collection of travel writing Sacred Ground & Holy Water. From Africa, Central America, India, the Pacific Northwest, and back again, Lyn´s rambunctious dispatches from the far corners of our strange globe arrive with the full force of whitewater plunging from mountains, lava burning the very soles from our hiking boots. So delicious are the bountiful meals he eats, so beautiful the foreign lasses he dallies with, nothing is left for the reader but a searing jealousy, an aching desire to be out there ourselves. Thompson, rest his soul, would be proud." Tony D´Souza, Author of Whiteman, The Konkans, and Mule

"An extraordinary travelogue. Lyn Fuchs seems to be up for anything and is an exhausting companion. I feel as if I have been bumped round the world in a week, waking only for the occasional surreal encounter, before bouncing on in a cloud of wacky ideas." John Gimlette, Author of At the Tomb of the Inflatable Pig: Travels in Paraguay, Theatre of Fish: Travels in Newfoundland and Labrador, and Panther Soup: A European Journey in War and Peace

"Alternating between profundity and lunacy, Lyn Fuchs delivers a highly readable romp in his own search for the meaning of the universe." Sean O'Reilly, President and Founder of Auriga Distribution Group, Redbrazil.com, Riverinthesky, & Travelers' Tales

"I found Sacred Ground & Holy Water quite a tonic - a mixture of enjoyment and irreverence. Many teachers say that enlightenment doesn't come to those who deliberately set out to find it. If you are open, it finds you. One of the main feelings I got from this book is that Lyn Fuchs is an open traveler." Ben Box, Author of Footprint Travel Guides

"Five Stars! Fuchs is a deft raconteur, and he shows he can paint a compelling romantic description: 'While the northern turning leaves mark the passing of years and urge productivity, the southern rolling waves hint of changeless eons and instill contentment.' Give credit to Fuchs for getting his point across. As he writes, 'Like it or not, all cultures are forever changing and forever changed.' Globalization is impacting Mayan culture in Guatemala, for example. Traditional local celebrations are turning tacky and curious. Yet, Fuchs offers valuable insights into people and how culture is changing for good and bad. Lovers of travel should heed his advice to visit once-classic cultures before they disappear forever." Gary Klinga, Reviewer at ForeWord Reviews

"Instead of your typical guidebook tour, Lyn Fuchs looks up (always the best view). He says what he's thinking in his mind and reflects not just on what he's seeing but the big picture: how religion is presented, how people act/react, what people are wearing. It's fascinating - sort of a social anthropologist, but only the interesting stuff. I loved this book." Andy Hayes, Editor of Sharing Travel Experiences

"I loved how raw and honest this book is. I picked this up to read for awhile on a Saturday night before tossing a movie in the DVD player. Needless to say, I never made the movie. I read this whole book, start to finish, right then." Mystee Blackwood, Reviewer at GoodReads Reviews

"A uniquely witty and perceptive take on Mexico - Fresh Wind & Strange Fire again shows Lyn Fuchs to be not just a mere travel writer, but also a practical philosopher a la Montaigne, with a dash of Henry Miller's American humor and sexuality." Rick Skwiot, Author of Sleeping With Poncho Villa, Death In Mexico, and San Miguel De Allende, Mexico: Memoir of a Sensual Quest For Spiritual Healing

"This book is a gem and I highly recommend it. The writing is top-notch with just enough snark to make his anecdotes fun. I had a hard time putting this book away." Barry Huddleston, Reviewer at Gnostalgia Book Reviews

"Lyn Fuchs succeeds in his mission to get men attracted to reading spiritual literature. That too admirably! Spicy writing with a strong male perspective with more than an ample dash of wit and humour make Sacred Ground & Holy Water a very enjoyable read." Shweta Ganesh Kumar, CNN Correspondent and Travel Journalist

"Fresh Wind & Strange Fire is just as the title suggests: fresh, original and passionate. Fuchs grips the reader, from beginning to end, with his historical detail, humor and socio-political anecdotes. This is a must read for anyone who lives in or aspires to travel extensively thoughout Mexico." Deanna Proach, News Blaze

"The writing in Fresh Wind & Strange Fire is almost poetic and the history, philosophy and comedy reek of the human spirit in Mexico. I feel privileged to have read this work as it fulfilled everything I want out of a book. Comedy, suspense and self-reflection. This work demonstrates all of these, and the exemplary writing grasps the 'show, don't tell' philosophy that many writers fail to practice." Jairus Reddy, Publisher at Hobbes End Publishing

"Fresh Wind & Strange Fire is earthy, raw and vibrant. It has the B. Traven authenticity with a Hunter S. Thompson fire. The stories are graphic and well-written. They show you a side of Mexican society that most foreigners and many Mexicans will never know - sometimes seamy, sometimes just alive and real. The author spins his tales with well-written prose and vivid description. Individual cities and towns are highlighted, but more as a backdrop for the human stories. I know nearly all the places the author mentions (except for the dark sides, which I do not know) and he does a good job summing up the atmosphere of the towns. This book is not for those with sensitive imaginations. Some may even find it disturbing. But if you can read graphic modern detective novels and watch modern crime shows, you should enjoy it." Mexico Mike Nelson, Author of Live Better South of the Border

"Sacred Ground & Holy Water is a collection of travel stories, significant events and memorable experiences during the extensive travels of the author, Lyn Fuchs. It seems there has never been a dull moment in Fuchs' travels: from encounters with bears in Yosemite, enduring bone rattling bus journeys in Central America, paddling with orcas, taking part in the Day of the Dead in Mexico, experiencing Samurai in Japan, or simply reflecting on a cockroach that shares his morning shower or a beetle he discovers in his navel. Sacred Ground & Holy Water mixes humor and irony into experiences that can only come from spending a significant part of one's life traveling the world. There are over a dozen "Tales of Enlightenment," all told in memorable humorous prose. This is not classic travel nonfiction where you get lost in detailed descriptions of people or place. It reads more like a narrative equivalent of channel surfing - simply skipping to the most memorable parts of someone's personal memoirs." Matt Scott, Reviewer at Matador Travel Network

"Gonzo tourist Fuchs's account of way-off-the-beaten-path Mexico makes Anthony Bourdain appear reserved. His approach style is primitive and organic, with no first-world intercession or assistance. Only three pages in and he's solicited a fake passport, trial-and-errored peyote dosage, and had a tooth extracted with wincing crudeness by a "dentist." While he's more author Hunter S. Thompson than travel guide Rick Steves, and certainly sensational in his gleefully gritty pursuit of the real Mexico, he's not exploitive, cloying, or insincere and more often than not he reveals with acuity and bite a talent for finding the conceit (with prickling quotability). Though not your standard travel guide - no maps, agenda, index, or even photos are in this book - it is nonetheless vivid, and illuminatingly dense with lost histories of an unconsidered culture. Fuchs rambles (sometimes escaping) from Mayan and Mixtec barrios and villages to cities and towns, and opens up to everything from mafiosos and mystics to moles and iguanas. Fuchs offers unpredictable reading, recommended to those who like travel to challenge their perspective." Benjamin Malczewski, Library Journal