Thursday, May 26, 2011

Strauss-Kahn Accuser Photos and Interview

We proudly present an exclusive interview and photos of Strauss-Kahn's accuser!

Lyn: So, you're the one who dared take on the great Strauss-Kahn.

Her: Yes, I'm afraid I am.

Lyn: Didn't you realize the damage you could do by impuning such a lofty person?

Her: I do now, but when that big, wet, throbbing man jumped on me, I never thought to assess his role in global financial circles. My actions were not fiscally sensitive and I'm really sorry.

Lyn: So, your response was typical female hysteria rather than a well-thought-out male approach.

Her: I know, but as a woman I like to believe our big hearts contribute something to the world, though maybe not as much as the work of a dazzling number-crunching bureaucrat like Stress-Con.

Lyn: Right, like anyone would find an emotionally-expressive woman more interesting than an accounting whiz. You're funny, but I believe it's pronounced Strauss-Kahn.

Her: I think that was a Freudian slip.

Lyn: You mean he fell on the damp hotel floor, because he had one hand grabbing you and one yanking his...

Her: No, I mean he may end up a stressed convict, because I hear some inmates are also sexual libertines with no respect for personal boundries.

Lyn: Who are you, bitch, to attack the character of American-born prisoners, when you're just an African immigrant? By the way, your photos don't look like a poor, religious African to me.

Her: Thank you. I'm using steel wool and liquid bleach daily to lighten my horribly-dark skin. Plus, I'm forsaking my religious and hard-working ways to lounge around half-naked in plush salons and on the French Riviera like high-class people do. By the time of my appearance in court, I hope to be one of those whose testimony can be taken seriously.

Lyn: Good call! Claiming you're created equal is all well and good, but I think your new look will make even French men sit up, listen up, and pretend to value what you have to say.

Her: I hope so. Thanks for having me here and for hosting a blogsite where there are only two levels of people: those who've read the book Sacred Ground & Holy Water and those who haven't.

Lyn: You're welcome. When I wrote my book on the door of a biker-bar bathroom-stall in a whiskey stupor, I had no idea it would become the common ground uniting high-class people around the world. It's an honor to be used by God, but I guess you don't choose Him, He chooses you.

Her: That's how it is with Strauss-Kahn too.

1 comment:

  1. Wow! A lot of folks are viewing this. A reader's comment just reminded me that people don't always pick up satire at first glance. This post is a mockery of the elitist, racist, women-denigrating attitude coming to light in Strauss-Kahn and the aristocrats who support him. The verdict on whether he's a New York rapist will come later, but whether he's a pig is something only a genius or lawyer might have trouble figuring out. So, we make no apologies for mocking such horrifying notions or people who hold them. To those who are shocked by even a parody of such evils being casually accepted, I'm sorry to report that in much of the world they are. If this bothers you, I hope you'll follow my blog and support my stand for the equal value of all.