Monday, May 23, 2011

Critics Wrong About Red Riding Hood

The film critics are wrong about Red Riding Hood. They say it's not worth seeing, because it's silly and unrealistic. Um ... yeah ... this is a werewolf movie. Once upon a time, werewolves and vampires were superstitions of Europeans with more exposure to dark woods than education. Bram Stoker made them literature, then Anne Rice creatively deemed them worthy of formal interview. We've been taking them ever more seriously ever since. (I'll admit Kate Beckinsale still has permission to suck my anything.)

Perhaps, the critics are less concerned with "accuracy" than the wrath of that other dual-natured creature: that mix of beauty and foolishness which is a teenage girl. Her whim can make a boy's, a writer's, or a movie maker's dream come true. Yet, she isn't always the paragon of good judgement. (Any doe-eyed hottie producing an actual vampire or werewolf will receive an online apology and a free book from me. Put up or shut up.)

Those who don't take vampires or werewolves too seriously may enjoy this visually-pleasing, fast and fun whodunnit. Those who find "inaccurate" portrayals of the nocturnal ones offensive should seek professional help. "Over the river and thru the woods to grandma's house we go...."


  1. I take vampires and werewolves very seriously, believe me, perhaps too seriously. But that movie was awful. It was like someone peed on Twilight. It was really beautiful though!

  2. Is "realistic" the new buzz word among reviewers? I've seen this word used on so many reviews lately, I've wanted to scream "It's fiction. It's not supposed to be real." And in the case of Red Riding Hood...not realistic as compared to what? The original fairy tale? Because we all know how real that was, right?

  3. I haven't seen this movie yet, but I will. I am only thinking that if vampires can sparkle then I am sure the werewolves in this story will be okay..LOL

  4. If you seek a change from vampires and werewolves, I invite you to stop by at The Homeplace Series:
    for a feel-good family saga, with out vampires and werewolves, but with some young folks you just might enjoy getting to know... you never know! ;-)
    I enjoyed your inside information, THANKS!

  5. Nice review. Hoping to see it soon.

  6. Pavarti,
    That's okay, I take myself too seriously, which is much worse. Just hang out with some of those Lord of the Rings fans that speak several different elf dialects and you'll seem totally normal. Also, don't take my challenge to "put up or shut up" too seriously. All we really ask of our female followers here is that they "put out."