Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Inspired Reader Abandons Civilization

Warning: Sacred Ground & Holy Water is now officially a dangerous book. Just ask Greg Schundler. After reading a chapter about the remote Haida Gwaii islands near the coast of Alaska, he decided to move there and live off the land.

It's partly my fault. Using potent wordcraft, I connived to manipulate readers into envisioning this paradise on earth as it really is. Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea culpa! So, I can no longer give an unqualified recommendation to my book but must instead issue the following caution:

People like Greg who are unusually susceptible to wild pristine beauty shouldn't read the chapter "Nearing the End of the World." Those who suffer from hernia should bypass the side-splitting "Moldy Socks & The Three Bears." Men hoping to avoid getting all weepy should skip "Booze, Blues & Bible-bangers." Finally, women who can't handle bad-boy trash-talk should omit "My Big Fat Bulgarian Orgy." Buy the book, but please read responsibly.

We'll try to provide updates on Greg's adventure. Being a Princeton University graduate, he has apparently thought of everything necessary for living in paradise - except the obvious. So, any hottie wishing to join him should submit a photo wearing only 3 leaves and a sworn notarized affidavit that you're not exceptionally tempted by fruit.

2 comments:

  1. Lyn, thanks for the heads up. I'm going right to the orgy and the booze since neither infer me, but can promise I won't be adding pics w/the 1-2-or 3 leaves, for all involved's health and sanity. LOL! -u r something else! I love this blog.

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  2. Meet dashing adventurer Greg Schundler. Eat your heart out Rolf Potts.

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