Monday, March 28, 2011

Explore Aamir Khan's Planet Bollywood

Imagine landing in a strange world where old-fashioned romance, blood-spattering violence and musical choreography numbers blend seamlessly to make a blockbuster movie. Envision a place where baseball is considered too fast-paced and not gay-enough, so folks prefer cricket. Let your mind conjure up alien beings who believe killing animals for food would be bad, but killing Pakistanis with nuclear submarines would be jolly-good sport. Welcome to Planet Bollywood.

If this is your first visit, let me recommend two classic films to get you acclimated. The movie Lagaan addresses profound colonial mysteries. 1) Who exudes more raw masculinity: tea-sipping British men or paisley-wearing Indian dudes? It's a no-holds-barred cricket smackdown. 2) Why do so many brown guys rush past gorgeous mocha babes to score an aristocratic, sexually-uptight, aging vanilla? I guess nothing is hotter than hearing a blond scream, "Oh yes, do me like the savage heathen coolie that you are!"

The film Ghajini would be my second pick. Aamir Khan is a manicured telecom executive who transforms himself into Rambo/Terminator to avenge his true love, despite memory loss every fifteen minutes from an old head wound. The twisted plot and funny dialogue will grip you. Moreover, the uber-silly-yet-romantic music videos will delight you more than you'll wanna admit. Planet Bollywood is not a place I'd like to call home. Yet, no traveler should miss these two cool forays into an unforgettable world.

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