Tasteless Ethnic and Gender Humor

During this photo, I was hoping Victoria was grabbing my butt not Harold.

The mind is the most attractive part of an elegant woman, but damn sure not the only part. It is ironic that the internet can reduce one's attention span to where a book by a great mind becomes unreadable and also rivet the attention to where music, candles and massaging an extraordinary woman seems old school. I must admit that I find the minds of great authors and the smiles of great women more captivating than online blogs or video games. This may make me a Luddite. I only know that I like nature and people more than gadgets and gizmos, and I'm generally a happy guy.

Road Babe Mittie Roger Fills Out

Not only will I be reading my work this Friday at the Garrison & Garrison Books anniversary party, but Mittie Roger (who pioneered the Road Babe Dispatches column in this magazine) truly fills out the program with a reading from her new book. Oh, you thought I'd say she really fills out a dress. No, this is a high-class literary publication.

Join The San Miguel Bookstore Fiesta

This is a bimbo-friendly bookstore with millions of shorter words.

In a selfless effort to combat illiteracy, I'll be reading from my canonical works at the anniversary celebration of Garrison & Garrison bookstore in San Miguel on August 1st. Thus, supermodels holding a book upside down with a confused but photogenic expression need not panic. I'm here to serve, because that's just the kind of guy I am.

Get Drunk For Humanity This Thursday

On Thursday from 5 to 7, I'll be gettin' drunk for humanity. You should too. I'll be speaking to the authors' club at the lovely Posada de la Aldea in San Miguel de Allende (shown here) about how travel writing promotes cultural awareness and human rights. There will be wine. Come for the literary conversation; stay for the booze. Imbibe for a good cause. Drink until comparing the heft of a James Joyce novel with a nearby woman's ample breasts seems totally appropriate. It's okay, because you're doing it for the children of the future. If breasts weren't as interesting as books, there wouldn't be kids in the future.

Author Lyn Fuchs Publicly Exposes Himself

Much thanks and many hugs go out to the people who were gathered yesterday at Garrison & Garrison Books in San Miguel to celebrate the Mexico release of Fresh Wind & Strange Fire. Store owner Michelle Garrison brought her cool personality, warm demeanor and uber-hot look. (I also dug the way she shoved Rick Skwiot's books aside to put mine at the front of the table.)

Travel writer Mittie Rogers graciously came up with the event idea. Of course, she was just too damn important to attend herself, but that's okay. (I ran into her boyfriend at the nearby Starbuck's bathroom as he scurried frantically around town desperately doing her bidding. He's almost as pretty as she is, though a little lacking in the curves department.) Mittie was preparing her session for the San Miguel Writers' Conference, where she'll be cooking up recipes from Like Water For Chocolate. (Next year, I'll be cooking up secret homespun recipes from the series Breaking Bad.)

San Miguel de A LYN DAY

Condé Nast Traveler just selected San Miguel de Allende, Mexico as one of the top destinations on the planet. Why? I think it's fairly obvious: because I'll be there on November 16th, 2013  -  live, uncensored and nearly sober. Can you dig it? From 4 to 6 pm Saturday, I'll be reading, signing, and hugging people somewhat inappropriately at Garrison & Garrison bookstore.

Don't miss this opportunity to have an unforgettable encounter with an actual living caveman. I sincerely do request your presence and genuinely want to meet you. Come hang out with the San Miguel community for good laughs and good conversation about a great new work. Here's a little blurb about the cool book that I'll be reading and signing during this literary event and/or booty call:

It's Your Life, So Live It!

Steve Jobs and the personal computer will probably be remembered alongside Johann Gutenberg and the printing press as milestones toward the globalization of information and the democratization of culture. Authors should take heed. Those of us who cling too tightly to our paperbacks will someday be lumped in with ancient clergy who preferred to keep sacred texts on scrolls. The times they are a-changin'.

Road Babe Dispatch From A Saddle

I hadn’t been riding since I was a kid. I used to ride English style, but that was so long ago my memories are hazy. Thus, the thought of mounting a horse, nearly twenty years later, then descending into a canyon filled with wildlife and history was exhilarating to say the least.